The Tale of Why the Miko Cried
by Houkanno Yuuhou
Summary: Chapter 6: A Spider Web, and It's Me in the Middle. Kagome's becoming entangled in her memories. Which set belongs to her present life? More and more, she is becoming all she ever feared.
1. Oh No, I See

Disclaimer, Author's Notes, and all that jazz: Obviously, you know who owns the rights to this or you wouldn't be reading it. If I need to remind you, you really need to be hit upside the head with a smelly, very dead fish. This is a prequel of sorts to "The Tale of the Sad Miko", but you don't need to read it to understand this; both can be separate stories. Inspiration and chapter titles are from "Trouble" by Coldplay off the first LP.

The Tale of Why the Miko Cried

By Ruth Woytsek

__

"I never meant to cause you trouble, I never meant to do you wrong. Oh, I wonder if I ever caused you trouble, and oh, I never meant to do you harm." 

-- "Trouble" by Coldplay

Chapter One: _Oh No, I See_

Running. Whether it be day or night, there was always some reason for her to be running. By the sun's light, she ran for her life, and by moonlight, she ran from her heart.

For almost three years, she had been coming to the Sengoku Jidai and had witnessed more than she really cared to remember. Retaining the Shikon no Kakera would have been an impossible task had she never met Inu-Yasha. Of course, without the Shikon no Tama, she wouldn't have met him at all.

Inu-Yasha was an enigma that she just could not solve. From one moment to the next, no one could figure out what the hanyou was thinking, and she certainly couldn't judge what he was feeling. There were a few times he had looked at her with such a gentle expression and golden eyes that she would swear shined with love for her, but then he'd open his mouth and shove a foot deep inside….

Sigh.

At least she no longer needed to worry over competition from Kikyou; Naraku had seen to the undead miko's demise a long while back, and the soul, without a home, had freely wondered back to her body. She hadn't felt complete since the rebirth of Kikyou, and she didn't want to admit to anyone that she felt like herself again. It seemed strange even to her how much her own soul relied on that small part of Kikyou.

But Inu-Yasha wasn't himself.

Sure, he still protected her, still fought possessively when Kouga came calling, and still managed to confuse her with those tender looks, but he was also more pensive and reflective now that Kikyou was gone, and she knew that when he dared a glance at her…she could tell….

It was killing him to see her because she was the bitter reminder of what he'd lost. Even more so now that she was older. At seventeen, she looked just like the miko had, and no matter what, she would never escape the fact that while she considered herself a separate entity from Kikyou, everyone else viewed her as a perfect copy. Her hair had grown longer and smoother, and her features had become more graceful and slender, more womanly. Her powers had increased, rivaling the now dead miko. A child she was no longer.

And no longer was she "just Kagome." There was no question of whom she had 

descended now.

It was also a sad reminder to her--a reminder that her Inu-Yasha wasn't hers, because he would never love the Kagome part of her. He couldn't help whom it was he saw in her; she knew that, had told herself that constantly.

Her dreams were another story though. If the possibility of staying asleep forever existed, she would have been joyous. In her dreams, he was always a gentleman but also fiery if she allowed herself to relish those thoughts.

However, dreaming was for the noble, those who could afford such luxuries as she couldn't, because if she slept too long, too deeply, she'd risk getting killed by some vicious youkai. 

Oh, and as Inu-Yasha kept telling her, those shards just don't find themselves, you know.

Secretly, she feared the inevitable. They were coming closer and closer to Naraku with each victory, and the feeling that the next meeting would be the last was intense. Then what?

It was the fear of losing those dear to her that invaded her thoughts. Ieie, she never let herself think such things, but she did think about what would happen after they had finally won. She'd have to go back, of course. Back to what had been normal life. No more of Shippou-chan raiding her backpack for crayons and sweets, no more of Miroku-sama dodging Sango's punches, no more of Sango-chan pounding Hiraikotsu's tip on Miroku-sama's head.

No more Inu-Yasha….

When nightfall came, and sleep was fading her vision, she would permit herself harmless fantasies about spending her life with him, not really caring if it was in her time or his…she just wanted to stay with him. He would pull her into his shaky arms, embracing her like he had before when he had been so afraid that Naraku would kill her. Sweet whispers of love and devotion would fill her ears; he'd beg her to stay because he couldn't imagine life without her there, while suggesting with his eyes that he really wanted her…her, not Kikyou's perfect copy.

Gah, he was as romantic as a dead fish. She would never hear such words from his mouth!

But what if he did? What then?


	2. I Lost My Head

Chapter Two: _I Lost My Head_

Closer. She could feel his presence coming closer, and her heart was beating so quickly and violently within her chest that she was certain it would explode with massive fury.

"Don't you know how much I need you, Kagome?" Amber eyes burned holes into her soul, searching for something that he knew only she could provide him. A tiny, excited gasp betrayed her as she tried to turn away from him, but she could not will her feet to move from the spot that held them fast. Silently, she pleaded with him to stop, but she was shivering with anticipation as those words formed in her head. The shaking only increased as he drew nearer--near enough for her to feel his warm breath on her cheeks. She sighed happily, and he smirked. "You know how badly I want you. I want to tear your clothes off with these claws and mar your pale skin with these teeth. I can't deny myself any longer." Hands gingerly trailed down her sides, making her choke on air. "I need you now." He pressed her to him firmly. "Say it."

Say what? How much she loved him? How it would be enough for her to simply stay there in his strong embrace forever? Or how she wanted him to see her and not some damned long-dead lover? How she wanted to make him forget that Kikyou had ever existed, but she lacked the courage? How she was brave in the face of danger, but she ran from the face of love? What should she say?

A soft kiss to her lips was all she needed for the last of her composure to slip. "Say that you are mine."

"I'm yours, gladly."

Was that even her voice?

"I love you, Kikyou."

"I love you, Inu-Yasha."

Iie!

Dammit, was she not herself anymore?

An ethereal image of Kikyou appeared behind Inu-Yasha, taunting her. The ghost grinned maliciously as inwardly, Kagome screamed. "Who are you? That's what you ask yourself every day. Why are you here? Why do you breathe? Who does he love? You know these answers. You cannot deny your true self. You _are _me. There is no Kagome, nor was there ever."

"That can't be!" she shouted, but her voice sounded so weak, even to her, like she was fading into nothing. 

"Hai, you are me, in heart, in body, and in spirit."

Her feet needed no coaxing to carry her far from there, even if she didn't know where they were taking her.

A faint voice from behind her beckoned, "Kagome! Don't leave me!"

Her mind kept whispering to her that it was too late for this; he'd always love Kikyou, never her.

"Iie! Inu-Yasha, osuwari!"


	3. Oh No, What's This?

Chapter Three: _Oh No, What's This?_

Crash. She awoke to the sound of an earsplitting crash and cries of pain. Bracing herself, she listened for the inevitable "bitch," but it never came. Instead, she heard cursing under breath, but nothing to wake her intentionally. 

Someone shifted, and feet trampled the soft earth. She felt a presence above her soon after, watching her.

_Inu-Yasha….._

Warmth from his nose and mouth colored her cheeks, and she waited anxiously, wondering why he was so near. After what seemed like forever, she gave up and chanced "waking up." Two golden circles as bright as the sun stared at her.

"Kagome."

"Inu-Yasha."

"You weren't asleep just then."

Did he really believe she'd done that osuwari purposely? "Nani?"

"While I've been here."

Oh, so he hadn't. Then why did it matter? And why did her heart race whenever she looked in his eyes? Surely she wasn't afraid of him after all this time?

Iie…she was afraid of her actions when she was around him.

She noted that her lips were merely inches from his. "Kagome?"

"I-I-Inu-Yasha?"

He held out his hand. "We're going for a walk."

It didn't seem like just some innocent request, so she nodded reluctantly. "Ano…Inu-Yasha?"

"Hai?"

"Why…why are we going for this walk?"

He turned away but still pulled her to her feet. "I need to talk to you."

Uh oh…she had a bad feeling about this "walk." "Look, if you're upset with me for earlier…uh, well, I couldn't control that. I was dreaming, you see--"

"It doesn't concern that." He paused thoughtfully, then added, "What were you dreaming about anyway?"

Blush crept up her neck and face, and she tried miserably to conceal it from him. "Eh…nothing. Just a bad dream."

She watched curiously as he stopped and turned sharply, glaring at her as if she'd suddenly grown two heads. "_Bad_??"

"Heh…hai."

"De…demo," he sputtered out in shock.

"Nani?"

Just like he had turned to glare at her, he quickly turned away and walked ahead of her, but not so far ahead that she couldn't hear him mumble, "You cried for me several times." He finally stopped under a big oak and plopped down on one of its huge roots.

_What in the world? _"Are you…are you _sulking_??" she asked in disbelief.

"It didn't sound like a bad dream to me," he muttered to himself in a small, boyish tone. "Keh."

Oh brother. "What do you mean, 'It didn't sound like a bad dream to me'?" What had he heard? She kneeled beside him and held his gaze securely with her penetrative stare. He seemed so scared and confused…and something else, but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Inu-Yasha, just what did I say in my sleep?"

It was his turn to blush. "Ah…n-n-nothing."

"Inu-Yasha," she warned.

A pair of sad, amber orbs looked to the ground in defeat, staring at the dirt and grass as if they were the most interesting thing in all the universe just then. "It was nothing. Just a bad dream, ne?" he answered quietly.

And then she heard it, what she had observed in his eyes before--an extreme loneliness…and want. 

She sighed, not exactly sure of what to say. Part of her yearned to tell him so he could vanquish every fear she'd ever had, but the rest of her was still so uncertain. What if it wasn't her he wanted? What if she acted like a fool in confiding that piece of herself to him, someone who still behaved like a junior high kid most of the time? What if she broke his heart? What if he broke hers?

What if, what if, what if!!

Daring herself, she decided to tell him some of the dream. The Kikyou parts could remain a secret; perhaps forever, if need be. "Well, it wasn't…I mean, it didn't start out in a bad way." She hid her red face in her hands, futile as it was since she was sure he could smell the anxiety on her like some exotic perfume. "It was…ano…good at the beginning."

"Good?"

"Maybe a bit, heh, exciting." Her heart danced wildly. Was he smiling?

"Exciting, eh?" He grinned, but it was a false bravado. She could barely see it, but there was a hint of flush to his cheeks in the moonlight.

Then he stuck his foot in his mouth again.

"That's all??"

She couldn't believe her ears! "Nani!?" she yelled at the top of her lungs, not caring who heard. "What do you mean by that??"

His ears went flat against his head in that "I've done it again" way, and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Never had she been more embarrassed and angry in her life! She has a nightmare about his former lover--okay, not exactly his _lover_, but still, of all people, she just had to dream about Kikyou?? And he's questioning his performance in her dream!?

They had never even gotten to that part!

"What did you just say?"

Oops, had she just said that out loud? "Eh…nevermind."

"Do…do you dream…about _that_?"

She held up her hands and waved them frantically, in protest. "Oi! I never said that!"

Innocent eyes questioned hers and then creased into knowing slits. "Liar."

Damn his keen senses! "B-b-but we haven't yet! I…I mean…." She groaned and smacked her forehead in frustration. "Gah, this is embarrassing!"

His head went down again. "I…have."

Again she couldn't breathe. "Nani??"

"I've dreamed about that," he whispered timidly. "I know I shouldn't because you are honorable…and…and, well…." His voice faltered, and he sighed.

Kami, her cheeks were hot! He had dreamed about _that_ with her! How could he--

Wait…he dreamed about that with _her_.

As in her and not Kikyou?

She sighed again and gently patted his left leg. "Inu-Yasha, it's okay. I'm not going to be mad at you for that." Laughing nervously, she added, "Besides, you aren't the only one who has…." His ears perked up, and she coughed, eager to change the subject. "Anyway, it's normal when you love someone to dream about…." What had she just said??

There seemed to be a strong demand for foot-in-mouth shoving that day.

His red face met hers, eyes wide from shock. "Love??"

Did he have to make that sound so harsh? So mean? So…so--

Digusted??

Then softly, "You love me?" His eyes, they sparkled with happiness for once.

"I can't…help it," she answered hesitantly and then quickly added, "but you love Kikyou, and I can't stand in the way of that, so just forget what I said."

Before he could say anything, she ran from him.

She was always running.


	4. Here I Am in My Little Bubble

Chapter Four: _Here I Am in My Little Bubble_

Naraku hadn't given them much of a chance to relax over the next week. Hell, for that matter, neither had Kouga nor Sesshoumaru. The latter had surprised them with his presence at daybreak, demanding information in the form of Naraku's whereabouts. It seemed that Rin had been kidnapped once again by Kohaku-kun, much to Sango-chan's chagrin. Astonishingly, Inu-Yasha's normally curt brother had been more concerned about the girl's welfare than of revenge. What could they tell him though? He knew as much as them.

Even more unexpectedly, Sesshoumaru had stayed near their camp, and neither brother was fighting.

Much less talking. Sesshoumaru was preoccupied undoubtedly, and Inu-Yasha just appeared…well, _depressed_.

She could be called an utter fool if she pretended to not know the reason.

The rest of the growing pack knew what was going on, even if they behaved otherwise. The only person who'd dared to ask was Miroku-sama, and Sango-chan had promptly smacked him with Hiraikotsu.

Sighing, she had turned her attention back to her uneaten miso soup. How much had she hurt him? It couldn't be that bad…could it? After all, this was Inu-Yasha who was always dismissing romance and "pretty words" as useless babble to him.

Still….

And then Kouga-kun had shown up, sweeping her into his overprotective arms, and Inu-Yasha was acting like his old self again.

Except he acted more calloused this time. Like he really did expect Kouga to run off with her as his mate.

It hadn't lasted long enough though. Kouga had hastily admitted that he'd been told of a child matching Hakudoshi's description in a nearby village, and he had a "motherly" companion with him who could only be Kagura. Soon everyone was heading in the said direction.

And now, she was resting in Miroku-sama's arms, listening as Kouga and Inu-Yasha bickered yet again. Her head throbbed a continuous beat along to their skirmish.

"Inukkuro, she'd be fine if you'd been watching out for her! Really, chikushoume, you are worthless!"

"Shut the hell up, wimpy wolf! I was protecting her, but as usual, you got in the way!"

"We're fighting Naraku--not each other!" she heard Sango hiss.

"Simpletons." That had to be Sesshoumaru.

Enough was enough, dammit. She just couldn't sit by while they continued to argue like two spoiled children struggling for possession of the last treat! It was exactly as Naraku wanted it; she realized that. The focus was to be on her safety instead of what he was up to. Iie! She refused to wait idly as they were once more suckered into his game. She was so sick of being the pawn of every creature residing in the Sengoku Jidai! She would not stay there, doing nothing, while Naraku used her and tossed her aside like a raggedy old doll!

Her body moved without persuasion, forcing her aching limbs to move in Hakudoshi-Naraku's direction. Somehow, she knew that he saw her coming, but it wasn't in her to care, because deep inside of her soul, something was whispering to her. Something was calming her even now, asking her to believe--believe that it had to be her and only her to stop Naraku, but really, she needed no cajoling. She'd always known it had to be, even if she denied herself the cold knowledge. Everything must end by her hand; the hand that had started the whole tedious process, time and again, in this life and the previous.

Nodding to herself, she stiffened and gathered her remaining strength in an attempt to gain control before she marched toward her destiny.

Voices called to her, but she chose to ignore those pleas. They had to understand! She'd vainly hoped that they would realize on a primal level that it had to be her. As much as she hated to acknowledge it, the fact was that over the past few days, she had reflected on her confrontation with Inu-Yasha, and she'd discovered a few things about herself while meditating that she'd never bothered to see before.

She couldn't escape the Kikyou side of herself.

Her mind had been trying to tell her all along through Kikyou's soul that whether she wanted it or not, she wouldn't be there without the miko.

And perhaps it wasn't Inu-Yasha's fault for looking at her and only seeing his dead lover. Maybe…as much as she denied it…maybe it wasn't Kagome who yearned for Inu-Yasha.

It wasn't the first time it had occurred to her that her love for him could just be something leftover from Kikyou's lingering spirit. 

She also realized that it was Kikyou and her who'd set the current events in motion, and what Kikyou had tried to start fifty-something years before, she needed to finish. Only her miko powers would destroy Naraku and his offspring, once and for all.

No longer did fear have a place in her. She _could _die, but what was life? Was the life she owned now really her own? Or was fate offering Kikyou another chance through her?

Sadly, without Kikyou's death, there would be no Kagome, and if she failed to complete the task before her, their joined soul would be reincarnated again and again…doing the same task over until it was finally done.

The reality of everything hurt her to no end, but it was her fate, no matter how bitter the taste. To the Kami-sama of the universe, she was just a solution to the foulest plague. When all was over, she would die, as Kikyou had.

But she couldn't even allow herself the luxury of believing that she--Kagome--would be mourned and missed because it wouldn't be a true death…it wasn't even a real life. Not hers to own. 

Nothing, it seemed, was hers to own. Down to the very heart pumping with her chest.

Glumly, she raised the bow and arrow to strike, slightly aware that Inu-Yasha was screaming something at her, and Kouga-kun was speeding towards her, but before she could stop them, Hakudoshi-Naraku said it for her.

"You are still alive, aren't you, Kikyou?"

The others looked at her in confusion while she affirmed Hakudoshi-Naraku's suspicions with a small nod. "That clay shell you broke was my hatred, passion, and frustration--just a fragment of my entire soul. I truly never left this body."

He bowed, and suddenly, the air was polluted with the sound of cackling. "Kukuku, so you've come finally to finish this."

With steady hands, she pulled the arrow tautly. She could feel the presence of her friends, radiating behind her, and Kouga-kun and Inu-Yasha were at different sides of her. Sorrowfully, she avoided eye contact as she whispered, "You know that I must."

"What is he talking about, Kagome?" Inu-Yasha's wavering voice floated through her ears. 

The arrow never left its target as she answered, "I have to be the one to destroy Naraku. When I was Kikyou, I started this by harboring Onigumo in that dank cave, tending to evil like it was my own child, suckling at my breasts." She laughed when she saw the irony of the situation. "And look now! He's a child in every sense of the word!"

The arrow released of its own accord and struck through Hakudoshi-Naraku's right shoulder, pinning him to a wooden hut wall that stood behind him. He smirked. "So do you intend on killing me the same way you destroyed your beloved hanyou?"

Another arrow hit its mark, slicing through his left leg with a hiss. "As much as you want me for your own corrupted reasons, nothing will ever take away my love for Inu-Yasha."

Said hanyou uttered a small huff from behind her.

Inwardly, she cursed herself but then laughed. In the face of death, she wore so much courage. Too bad it was pointless.

"You know that you will die with me here."

With tears falling from her eyes, the next arrow soared through the air and into his neck. "I have accepted my fate. Do you accept yours?" 

A hand grabbed her left shoulder, and she turned to see Inu-Yasha's fear-stricken face staring back at her. "Kagome, you can't!"

"And she won't!" Naraku bellowed as he raised his arms into a threatening position.

Fierce energy cut through the air and gripped her heart, sending her reeling to the ground in mind-boggling pain.

"Iie!!" she heard everyone scream, though their voices sounded thick, like they were coming through muddy water.

Then she watched as Inu-Yasha bared Tetsusaiga and called upon its power. He flew through the air, wielding it like a madman.

"Kaze no Kizu!!"

What was he doing??

She tried to sit up to see but fell to the ground with a cry of pain.

Vaguely she was aware that Sango and Miroku were with her. "Kagome-sama! Do not move!" Miroku pleaded with her.

Shippou was sobbing. "Kagome-mama!"

"Minna…," she muttered weakly, "what is he doing?" She had heard his shouts of frustration and worse--pain, and the sounds of Sesshoumaru using Toukijin to get answers to Rin's location. "They…you must…tell them. They can't…it has to be me. Can't you see that?" She coughed, and pain seared through her chest, reducing her to a whimper. 

"Kagome-chan, your intentions are noble, but you are in no condition to carry on this battle," Sango told her bluntly; fear and concern wore heavily in her voice.

"Inu-Yasha…stop!" she tried to yell, but it was as powerful as a yelp to her ears.

Miroku shook his head solemnly. "I don't think he can, Kagome-sama. He is fighting--"

"Like a man possessed!" she interjected.

"Like a man fighting for the woman he loves," Miroku finished.

That pierced her heart tighter than any power from Naraku could. She had to save Inu-Yasha before he did something stupid!

Ignoring the protests of her body, mind, and the people she cared about, she rose from the ground and struggled over toward the ongoing scuffle.

Hakudoshi-Naraku snorted. "Odorokubeki, miko. How powerful are you?"

"Enough to end you," she spat brutally.

The smile faded from his lips. "You should have stayed dead!" Energy crackled and glowed throughout him. She could feel the hatred and sick love pulsating in him; it was thick like congealed blood.

Inu-Yasha ducked in front of her, holding Tetsusaiga against Naraku's body. "Kagome! Let me finish this! Run!"

Undauntedly, she raised another arrow and warned, "Get out of the way."

He then swept her into his free arm, and she noticed the tears in his dull, gilded eyes. With a tiny cry from the back of her throat, she used a finger to touch his wet cheeks. Only one other time before then had she seen him cry for her. The time they'd been poisoned…the time he'd been scared that she'd died, he had shyly admitted to her later when they were alone.

"I won't lose you," he said through gritted teeth. 

A faint smile graced her lips, and she tugged lovingly on a lock of his beautiful, silver hair. "Inu-Yasha…I promise you that I won't die." A lie. She knew that. She was certain that he knew that as well, but it was something so simple…something that made her feel like she was bound to him with those words. As long as she believed it, she could make him believe it, dammit, and then she could do her duty, letting the fates do with her as they pleased.

He nodded and hugged her to him, like doing so would keep her immobile. "You say you won't…," he choked out, then paused; looking deeply into her eyes with some of his former attitude back, "and know that I'll be forced to protect your miserable ass, just like always." He stared, waiting for her to say something--daring her to antagonize him, to say "the word," but she kept smiling as she pulled her face closer to his. He was caught completely off guard as she kissed him; a funny sight he was, thrashing about miserably while locked to her lips. Soon enough though, he relaxed and began to kiss her back. Tongues danced wildly in passion-heated mouths, and it seemed like ages to Kagome before she could finally come to her senses. Praise Kami-sama! He was such a remarkable kisser!

Now if only she could live long enough to experience it again.

Muscles trembled with immense drive as they worked to move her tired body again. Each attempt made them cry and ache in protest, but she pushed on until she was able to walk once more. With nimble grace, she plucked another arrow from the pouch and steadied the bow, aiming for her next target--Naraku's inhuman heart. 

Live or die. How she wanted to make the choice herself, but it was unfeasible. Only Western fairytales ended "happily ever after." She could feel the truth coursing through her veins, and in true Nihongo fashion, at the end of this tale, someone would die. Quite sure it would be her.

How easy it would be to simply undertake her destiny, but true to her nature, she had always been stubborn to a fault. Death was simply unacceptable. Love would have to find a way to win.

Thoughts flooded her mind. Ideas, plans. Finally, she understood, remembering something said long ago by her younger, naïve self.

Live…I want to live.

The arrow sailed through the air; its direction clear only to it and the one who'd released it.


	5. They Spun a Web for Me

A brief note: I tend to stick a lot of Japanese in my stories because I'm learning the language, so if something confuses you, just let me know. Also, the reason for the chapter titles…"Trouble" by Coldplay is a good song for Inu-Yasha, I think, and I'm going to prove it soon when I turn it into my first anime music video. Really, listen to the song. If you've gotten far into the series, you'll understand why I find it perfect. I also hope that you are enjoying this story. Now, on with it.

Chapter Five: _They Spun a Web for Me_

Thwih. The sound the arrow created as its white heat sliced through the air toward its target. Blackened twilight was bathed in lavender glow, and the warmth radiated, casting aside the normal chill of the night if only but for a brief second. At the end of its flight, the young miko heard the familiar chunky sound of wood cutting through muscle and tendons and hung her head in slight disgust. _Good, I hope that hit him square in the grotesque shell where his heart would be._

No such luck. It had only pierced his torso, right beneath his false navel. How could something born of evil have such a humanly thing as a navel? 

Because some part of Hakudoshi-Naraku was still Onigumo. Perhaps she could appeal to his humanity…?

It was worth a try.

Kagome bowed humbly before the monstrosity and gauged his reaction with smiling eyes. "I don't wish to hurt you further, but if I must, I must." She heard gasps of surprise and confusion behind her, but she ignored them, knowing that they wouldn't understand why she needed to help Onigumo atone for his mistakes. The side of her that was a simple miko wished kindness on his dark soul and only wanted to help his suffering. Even if the side of her that spoke with blind logic was berating her for being as stupid as this for thinking that Naraku could be anything but evil.

Naraku arched an eyebrow in bewilderment…and then in amusement. "You would actually spare me? Miko-no-baka! Though some of my power has weakened, I can still take you, even now! Do not extend charity on those who would care less!"

Rising, she sighed and pulled another arrow from its place in her carrier, aiming it at him. "At least I tried. That's all I can do. You've made your choice. I guess we leave this up to the fates now, ne?" Suddenly, an idea dawned on her, and she returned his calloused smirk with an even fiercer one, but not before dropping the arrow to the ground. Instead, she ran toward Naraku.

"Kagome-sama? Nani…?" Miroku began but couldn't finish the words that were forming in his head.

But Inu-Yasha knew and ran after her. "Kagome! What the fuck do you think you're doing!?"

Naraku finally figured out her plan as well and frowned down at her as she gripped his neck with her full strength. "You little bitch. I'll see you to the seven hells."

Her smile widened. "Not if I see you first." 

The power within her was so intense now, as what miko skills she had inherited united with Kikyou's knowledge. The solution was simple, in her mind's eye, but she'd have to pull Naraku into hell with her using all of her force. She could do it--_would_ do it to save the ones she loved and to save the future. Everyone and everything was counting on her one modest act.

Was it too much to wish that she'd had just a little more time with her family and friends? With…with her beloved??

Iie, not her beloved. Her soul's beloved. Their souls would meet, being as bound as they were, but she as Kagome would never face him again, of that she was certain.

Energy coursed through her veins, resonated in her body, slipped through her pores…the feeling…oh Kami-sama, she _felt_--

A billion stars burning inside her. The hottest fire bubbling in her blood. Pure light secreting from her skin, forming a shield around her. Heat escaping everywhere. Explosions, vortexes, black holes…the origin of time beat in tune to her heart. Lavender light clouding her vision.

She felt alive! In all the years she'd lived, she'd never…knew…never knew that everything could be such bliss!

She could feel everyone's love for her, in this time and in her own time, enveloping her, cradling her in their collective arms. Felt Inu-Yasha's love the strongest of all. A smile--a true smile on his face. For her. Their souls called out to each other; she desired to touch him, just one last time…to caress a cheek, to stroke silvery hair, to taste sweet lips…anything, anything at all.

"Inu-Yasha," she half-mouthed, half-whispered; amazed that he'd heard her at all. Reached to him with one free hand while keeping Naraku in her death-grip with the other. 

With tears in his eyes, he grasped her hand. A heartbroken voice cracked and pleaded, weary from fighting…a voice that sounded as old as time. "You're…you're leaving me, aren't you?"

Like a mother consoling her child, she smiled sweetly and whispered gently, "I won't be gone forever. I'll be in your heart. Our souls are destined." A single, bitter tear slipped down her cheek and into the folds of her mouth. "I'll love you always, Inu-Yasha. I'll never stop."

White light surrounded her, making it so she could no longer see him or hear him. It was just as well. Every memory she had of him was flooding her mind, and she was crying openly now. 

Just as well that the light had purified Naraku as well. She couldn't face his evil laughter, not as miserable as she was. 

Visions floated aimlessly around her. Onigumo as he had once been, though still cursing her as he was dragged into the pits of hell. Otou-san grinning at her even though he knew his next breath would be his last. Baa-chan as she had last been, sweeping the shrine steps before she'd had her fatal stroke. More people she barely recognized as relatives that had long since passed.

Images filled her eyes…memories that belonged to her, but to her old self. Things she could only remember in that brief space between dream and sunrise. Her memories as Kikyou.

She watched herself running through a field as a young child, but not in joy. She was searching frantically for the sanba because Okaa-san was going to have the baby. Then again as Kaede was born, and still with just a small hint of a smile on her face. Caring for Kaede as their Okaa-san lay on her deathbed, then again as their Otou-san drew his last. Training to be a miko because it was what was commanded of her. Regretting her life. Always sad because she had to watch Kaede be a normal girl while she was far from it. Preparing to throw herself into the river; mouth open to swallow the Shikon no Tama to take the damn thing to hell with her. The feeling of finally being free, and then someone saved her.

The hanyou. Inu-Yasha. The one who'd been following her for weeks in a half-assed attempt to grab the Shikon no Tama. Kami-sama…the sorrow in his eyes. The familiar sorrow.

And then their love began. But it felt so far from what she knew love could be. She cared for him, loved him, but didn't want him with her whole heart. Duty got the better of her as always. A miko and a hanyou could not love.

But her soul yearned for him, called out to him when she couldn't utter his name. Its only desire was to stay with him always. It remembered love when she as a miko could not. 

Her soul…the frail human side of her.

And then she knew nothing but pain in both body and heart as she pinned him to the tree and felt the immense heat of the fire as it claimed the rest of her life.

Then she reawakened with her new memories as Kagome. The happiness she felt at having a childhood at last. No expectations placed on her head, other than to be happy, healthy, and to do well in school. 

But there was something else.

A forgotten memory of summer days gone by, days spent as a child with an invisible friend. Someone only she could see, and she could never understand why. The boy that climbed Goshinboku with her. The boy with the happy golden eyes and the funny ears. The boy that protected her whenever she began to fall.

The one who was always there for her, even now.

Inu-Yasha….

Really, it was no surprise to her. Sure, she was impressed, but hadn't she always felt like she'd always known him, when she meet him long ago when he was still pinned to the tree?

All she wanted was to live for him! That's all her soul had ever asked for! To never feel alone again! Never alone because their souls spoke when words couldn't.

Couldn't she have just that simple wish?

The light within and around her pulsated, and then she realized that this wasn't just her power--the power of the Shikon no Tama was also with her. And then…darkness. 

Oblivion.

Was this it? Was this all fate had written for Kagome? It just didn't seem fair!

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

Ba-dum.

Ba….

_______________________________________________

I actually cried while writing this. Is this the end? Hm, that's the ultimate question, isn't it? I'll guess you'll have to find out. ^_^ 

Sanba is a midwife, by the way. And the "ba-dum" is her heartbeat.


	6. A Spider Web, and It's Me in the Middle

This would've been out sooner, but morning sickness is getting the better of me. ^^;

Chapter Six: A Spider Web, and It's Me in the Middle

Awakening. A sense of self flooded through her along with pure light, and suddenly, she was aware again. She tried opening her eyes, but the pressure that was upon them was too much at the moment. Her ears strained to hear the voices that were with her, but even that was almost too much.

"Will she ever wake up, Kaede-baa-chan?" A young boy's voice, so familiar to her, and yet so far away.

There was a sound of someone inhaling, but they were interrupted by a harsh grunt. "Of course, she will wake up, brat."

A young feminine voice responded with, "I don't know if we should lead him along. Kagome may never awaken." A hush enveloped the room.

Kagome…ah, yes, that was her own name, and it took her mind several minutes to process the voices that had spoken. As soon as she had, she was overcome with a need to force open the eyes that wouldn't budge earlier…needed to tell them something, but she wasn't sure just what.

Another voice began to murmur, and it surprised her to realize that it was her own as it sounded so disconnected from her body. Sharp breaths were drawn by the others, and it was Inu-Yasha who spoke first. "Kagome?" Once full of arrogance and pride, he now seemed so hollow and so defeated.

Her small hands rubbed the crust from her lashes, and she peered at everyone through narrow slits. "Minna…I…am alive," she hissed in pain and then felt the darkness consume her again. But not before she heard someone's--Sango-chan's--tears fall.

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The feel of the soft grass against her feet as she ran was overwhelming, as if a hundred fingers were tickling her. She giggled and hiked up her kimono some more. Why was she dressed up? Was a festival taking place? Not that it really mattered, but the light pink sakura pattern was nice to look at. 

The obi was cinched at her waist so tightly that breathing was nigh-impossible. If only she could loosen it….

"I can help you with that." The soft male voice frightened her, and she turned around in surprise.

"Inu-Yasha!" she gasped and then frowned, shaking a stern finger at his nose. "Don't scare me like that!"

He laughed as he grasped her finger in his hand, and she stared in awe at the true smile that lit his face. When had she last seen him smile? Or have a good belly laugh? "You have every right to be scared." With that, he pulled her to him, and off he darted to the well. 

She couldn't complain nor was she scared. Her nostrils were too filled with the wild smell that was Inu-Yasha…too delightfully filled to care. She didn't even noticed when they stopped.

She peered up at him and tried to search his eyes, but they were masked behind a puff of silver, tangled hair. "I'm…sorry…that I had to carry you off like that, but I couldn't tell you with the others lurking around. I'm not in the mood for their childish shit."

The possibility of what he meant stained her cheeks crimson, and she ducked her head as demurely as she could. "Nani? I'm confused."

Lips touched lips, and her knees sank to the ground as he had been caught too unaware to catch her. "I…just wanted to tell you…you look beautiful." Two red faces stared at each other, and she watched as he shook his head in embarrassment. "Not that you don't look beautiful daily…or that…well, you dressed accordingly…but you still look--"

She understood his garbled banter and smiled shyly. "Arigatou, Inu-Yasha." Then she returned the favor and kissed him. Never had she tasted anything so sweet.

Darkness claimed the happy moment.

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She opened her eyes and sat up sharply, welcomed only by the pitiful dying flame in the center of the hut and the shadows that followed it. Everyone appeared to be sleeping.

Sweat beaded at her brow, and she wiped furiously. Whatever she had dreamed didn't seem like a dream but a forgotten memory…but when had she and Inu-Yasha ever shared a moment like that? 

She racked her brain for an answer, but really, she just knew…and she didn't like what she was thinking.

Dampness crept up her legs as she waded through the tall grass behind the hut to the river beyond. She didn't really feel like a midnight dip in the cold waters, but she was too unnerved by her thoughts to surrender to sleep again.

So unnerved that she nearly missed her footing and would have fallen off the bank if strong arms hadn't rescued her.

__

Haven't I been through this before?

"What are you doing out here by yourself at this hour?" Inu-Yasha hissed in her ear. "Kagome, I wasn't even aware that you had awakened again."

"I just…," she started to say and then let her voice drop to nothing again. A cool wind swept through her nightgown and caressed her skin, and she shivered, but she feared that her trembling was a cause of her apprehension and not the night chill. Warmth spread over her shoulders suddenly. "Ano…?" 

He had draped his haori over her and then sat her gently on the ground. After he took the spot beside her, he wrapped his arms around her. "You will make yourself ill if you stay out here."

"I can't go back inside. I can't go back to sleep," she replied hurriedly. He peered at her skeptically and then softened when he noticed that her shuddering had increased. "I just want to be to myself right now."

"You…you want me to leave?" Sorrowful he sounded, so much that it pained her, and she sighed in defeat.

"Iie, stay with me." She took his hand in her own and curled her fingers around his, squeezing his hand gently. It was more of a reassurance to herself that he really was there with her than some loving gesture.

The grass and weeds were covered in wetness which covered her hands thoroughly. Judging the clouds coursing through the night sky, the dew had to be rain from earlier in the day when she was still unconscious. She sighed and stared into the murky waters before her, wishing that the lingering dream plaguing her would just disappear. Then suddenly, she gasped in shock.

He was squeezing back.

"Inu-Yasha?" She raised her eyes and met his lips which were formed in a shy grin.

"I…was just thinking." His eyes still shone brilliantly in the light left by the half moon. It had occurred to her often during the lunar cycles that as the moon grew closer and closer to fading away, so did his temper. On the nights of the half moon, his actions were a perfect mirror of his hanyou blood. The wildest blend of raw instinct mixed equally with the purest blend of human compassion. A claw trailed a tender line down her jawbone to her slender neck, drawing her from her thoughts again. "You look beautiful in this pale moon light."

A memory interrupted her smile of thanks. Familiarity shivered through her spine as she realized that he had already said the same thing once, but not in this time.

"Kagome?" He reached for her, but she shook him off.

"Don't. Just…don't." He shrank back, obviously hurt, and she cursed herself for saying those words, but she was so confused. "Gomen, Inu-Yasha. I…I don't know what's wrong with me. These memories keep coming to me, and I'm drowning in them. I just forget everything I am. I feel as if I'm tangled in this web of things that have happened, and I'm not certain which are which."

"What do you mean?"

She gazed into the moon, the only thing in her life that was unchanging. She wished that she could know its secrets, that she could see its memories so she could see her own. Sighing, she turned to him and answered. "I once thought that my heart and Kikyou's heart were separate, that only our souls were shared, but lately…lately, my memories are jumbled. I'm not certain which set belong to me, Kagome, and which ones belong to me, Kikyou. As I once feared," she whispered into his haori, "I'm becoming Kikyou, in spirit, body, and now mind."

The ancient moon shimmered on, mocking her with its vast knowledge.


End file.
